20twelve [wk2]: reality check.

raise your hand if you watched the 20twelve launch video (above) and had even the tiniest little thought run through your head that sounded  something like this: “really? really…those 3 little size-2 skinny minis think they need to lose weight?”.  i only ask because i had about 5 people tell me that after watching the video! now, know that we at fitlosophy have only the best of intentions….we want to do this together, with our fitbookers.  but the last thing we want to do is create an illusion that 1) 20twelve is only for the (already) fit or 2) that we think we need to lose a lot of weight!  however, in defense of my super-sweet team (and myself): no matter what your size, whether it’s 2 or 20…everyone has goals.  everyone knows what it’s like to be their best self. and no mattter where you are in life, whether it be in your career, your health, or personal life, shouldn’t we always strive to be better?

my goal is always to open and honest – those who read this blog know this.  the reality is this: just like you, i just finished week two of 20twelve.  and the reality is that after week 1, my enthusiasm starts to fade a bit.  and then life happens.  and being the all-or-nothing person that i am, i swear the moment that i can’t keep exactly to my plan, i so want to toss my fitbook and get a new one.  secretly wanna know my main goal for 20twelve? complete my fitbook and don’t stress about x’s through pages i had to miss or messed up handwriting. (ah, there are moments i just love my little ocd tendencies).  that’s my reality.  and even given this past week, i’m still truckin’ into week 3 gung ho.

last week started off fantastic – perfect really, getting in all my workouts, pushing myself hard, and eating clean as can be.  and knowing i was traveling to colorado thursday through sunday, i set my goals accordingly.  i wanted to workout monday through wednesday, knowing full well that with traveling from 5:30am on thursday morning, having meetings all day, and finally getting to my parents house around 6pm that night…i didn’t exactly want to say “hi mom…dad….love you…headed to the gym!”.  c’mon.  that ain’t right!  so i planned for thursday to be my off day…those days are easy to record in my fitbook…check!  but again, traveling wreaks havoc on the eating so i went prepared with my trail mix.  the day went pretty well, ya know after i almost missed my flight, but we had enough time to enjoy a quick lunch at panera (which coincidentally i was prepared with the handy eating out guide i’d just finished up the night before!).  and then: dinner at a little mexican restaurant. somehow, don’t ask me how, i didn’t have any chips (actually yes, my tip is to chew gum)…and then i had a whole wheat tortilla with grilled chicken, fajita veggies and avocado (also on the eating out guide!).  and a beer. what can i say? i love a cold fat tire – but i did share with daddy!  why, might you ask, am i telling you what i ate, detail by detail? well, because of this: sometimes when we lose control over where we’re eating or what’s on the menu, it’s easier to throw in the towel and say “to heck with it!”.  i guess i was just proud that i made a conscious choice to skip the chips but enjoy a beer – and be okay in the gray area and not being black or white, perfect or chaos.

so a weekend with the family meant waking up bright and early to hit the gym if i really want to fit it in. friday: check. lower body + stepmill, bam. done.  saturday: oops, i missed it.  after a late night friday night with friends, which included a home-cooked meal of meat, potatoes, corn and beers…and getting in around midnight, i missed my window to go workout saturday morning and i had to choose between doing that and spending time with my family.  i chose family.  but i managed to still get in about 3 hours of walking with my mom – the trick with her is just go to the mall and it’s a workout just keeping up with her!  was it a hardcore upper body workout like i’d planned?  no. but did i still fit in something? yes.  then saturday night meant a big home-cooked family dinner with the most fabulous lebanese food (and lots of it) made by my sister-in-law.   i was a bit bummed going in because i really did want to get a workout in so i could justify the food i knew i was going to want to eat.   but nevertheless, i filled up first on her fatoush (lebanese salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, jalapeno, and spices).  i’d recently read research showing that if you eat a large (healthy, not doused in dressing) salad before your meal, you consume approximately 12% fewer calories during your main meal.  so i munched like a rabbit!  then i grazed on pita & hummus (healthy, yes), sajuk (which is a red sauce with sausage…but a tiny portion, probably not so healthy), a small piece of roast and a bites of potatoes & carrots…and maybe 2 glasses of wine.   and then dessert.  dessert! my weakness.   my sister-in-law makes homemade baklava that seriously melts in your mouth, is absolutely in no way, shape or form healthy, and it begs to be eaten.  i single-handedly blame its yumminess on at least 5 of the 15lbs i gained after my competition a few years ago!  so she makes baklava.  and then my dear mom…she made my absolute most favorite chocolate cake from when i was little. and we’re talkin’ this thing doesn’t get made but every 2 years.  so that in itself was cause to celebrate.  so what’s a girl to do?  well, in my little head a knew i’d go easy on the dinner…and made my mind up that i’d only have 1 small piece of baklava and 1 piece of chocolate cake.  mind you: mom’s chocolate cake pieces dwarf in comparison to cake pieces these days.  this is probably why she’s still a size 4/6! moderation.  ok so lebanese meal extravaganza wrap-up: yum and holy-cow-i-need-to-workout. but honestly, i didn’t overdo it.  and even better: i wasn’t mad at myself.

sunday morning: i hit the pavement!  yes, running at 7am in the bitter cold for about 30 minutes, including 10 minutes of sprints.  it felt so good!  again, one of those moments where i so did NOT want to do it.  do you know how cold colorado gets in the winter…at 7am?  cold.

so after a weekend with the fam and a slight (but ever so slight!) dent in my perfect plans, i’m slowly learning how to get slightly derailed and not have the train go veering for the ditch.  look at my picture on facebook or my website, or heck any of the pictures on my blog and you may think i’m crazy.  ”what’s she struggle with?”  tell me this: why else would someone create fitbook?  because i get it. why do you think i haven’t posted pics in awhile? maybe just maybe i’m not that size 0, six-pack rockin’ girl.  even i look at that pic and wanna be that!  and i will be.  anyone can be – just depends on how bad you want it.  i promise you this: you WILL mess up.  you SHOULD make choices to enjoy life and not be all-or-nothing.  and you CAN still reach your goals.  just choose to make good choices about 80-90% of the time, control what you can, and then  don’t be hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned.

so as i head into week three of twenty twelve my goal is to keep up the good work. i’m feeling really optimistic and love watching all the positive things happening for other fitbookers out there. facebook and twitter are aflutter with inches being lost, goals being met, and scales budging. THESE are the things that keep me motivated.

i unselfishly created 20twelve to help fitbookers and selfishly am getting more out of it from you than i’d ever intended.
so in closing, thank YOU.


p.s. feedback on 20twelve - do tell!  and don’t be surprised when you see your question answered or request granted in an upcoming email!

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