an o.c.d. goal-setter’s dilemma

a conundrum. that’s the state that new year’s has me in this year and it’s not pretty. i am *ahem* special when it comes to liking things a certain way. life has thrown me curve balls and i’ve learned to dodge, jump, fly, and adjust to whatever comes my way. but deep down, i am a not-so-secret control freak.

so, why the conundrum, you might ask?

i always kickstart my week and any new goals (and more specifically a new fitbook) on a monday. i’ve asked on facebook when most fitbookers start their week. most are monday like me and some on sunday, but there there’s the random saturday starter which just throws my mind for a loop, but to each his own. so, herein lies the tragedy: new year’s eve (as you know) falls on a monday and of course new year’s day lands on tuesday. so while this may just be a mere fact to some, it throws my o.c.d. special-self into a tizzy, a mini-tailspin if you will.

see i don’t set resolutions, but rather i use this fresh start of a year to reflect on my previous year’s goals, revisit accomplishments, and reset goals in various aspects of my life. [side-note: goal-setting blog to follow tomorrow; the author was in the midst of the aforementioned tizzy to be able to provide any sort of valuable guidance of goal-setting for herself, let alone anyone else.] and yes, that life-type of goal-setting can be done on new year’s day….a perfect lazy-day tuesday activity. but starting a new workout program mid-week? kicking off a new fitbook for a new year? oh yes, all week i’ve been contemplating my goal-setting strategy:

option 1: “do i start my new program on monday and go all-in, forgoing any fun food or adult beverages to ring in the new year?”
see while you may see this option as boring, and yes it might be, i’ve been gone for a week in colorado with my family.  this means i was lucky to fit in cardio workouts and weight lifting consisted of doing a squat or two for good measure. eating healthy went by the wayside when few if no options were available and even despite my best efforts, who turns down their sister-in-law’s homemade baklava or mom’s yummy rice pudding? case in point: a week off my workout and eating schedule and this option doesn’t sound all that bad. 

option 2: “do i celebrate new year’s eve and end 2012 with a bang? after all, what’s one more day? then, hit the ground running tuesday!”
i mean c’mon, really. who wants to go out new year’s eve and not have a sip-sip of somethin’ to cling in the new year and have some appys to boot? and yes, i agree this is normal-person thinking and i think i already clarified that i’m “special” previously in this post. but all i can think is that if i continue with the “oh, i’ll start tomorrow mentality” instead of committing to my goals now, i’ll always think of a reason to start tomorrow. there’s a nike ad we posted on our facebook wall and pinterest that states: “yesterday, you said tomorrow.”  and all i can think of right now is that if i put off committing now, i’ll always find a reason to put off to tomorrow what i should just face today.

option 3: “or is it possible for me to not be all-or-nothing, black or white? would it be possible to hit the ground running on monday with my goals and still live just a little?”
one of  our mantras at fitlosophy is “enjoy all things – in moderation.” and to be perfectly honest, i think i came up with that one more out of desire to live that way than actually preaching what i live.  see, it’s not a do-as-i-say kinda situation, more so that’s what i strive for and wish the same for others. see moderation for me is a fairly foreign concept. i too, am a work in progress.

and so which option shall i choose? option 3.  not because it’s the comfortable one (because it’s not) or because it’s the easiest one (nope, not at all). but because i want to force myself to grow. to make a little positive change, no matter how uncomfortable it might be. yes, my first day in a fresh, new fitbook will have a killer workout, complete with goals and a plan of attack. and on that same first page will be possibly a glass of wine or 2 and *gasp* maybe a bite to eat that doesn’t fit in my perfect clean-eating plan.  and that’s not the challenging part. it’s what i do after. can i, in all my o.c.d.-ness, handle starting off slightly imperfect?

here’s what i know for sure. putting myself in a position of having to be “perfect” more often than not has led to failure. it’s this striving for perfection, not progress, that has led to half-completed fitbooks, giving up after i couldn’t maintain my own standards. and what kind of life is that? i’m learning that the more expect myself to operate at that level, the further i actually get from my goals. and so my little new year’s eve debacle, while albeit slightly entertaining, it is a little personal experiment to see if i can muster the strength to accept “good” over “perfect”, be at peace in the grey, and then continue on.

new year’s comes with so much pressure to start that one day of the year off just so – so much so that (today), what was a day full of big plans to conquer the world, resulted in an ang-in-headlights, overwhelmed at all the unnecessary pressure.  unpack, do laundry, take down christmas decorations, run errands, clean the house, bathe the dog, pay bills, write thank you notes, clean out closets, go to the grocery store, prep food, oh and then in my spare time, work on my life goals!  and i wonder why-oh-why i can’t function sometimes?  i overload myself to the point of no return and while i have good intentions by making that list, inadvertently it quickly becomes my demise.  and this is what we do when we set goals too.  we decide we want to conquer the world and we apply all that energy and motivation into creating a very detailed list of how we’re going to go about it. and by the the time the list is finished, we’ve so badly intimidated ourselves that we talk ourselves out of even starting at all!

to be continued (tomorrow) as i blog about my goal-setting techniques and how i’m striving to be MORE in 2013 and what that looks like. now off to bed so i can rise and shine for 6am spin!  (now, that’s what i’m talkin’ bout.)


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